I switched to coffee. I don't know how it happened, but it did. Like a lion it sneaked behind and all of a sudden it was all over me or in this case all inside me. I still do love the autumn colors and refreshing taste of my all-time classic tea, but when I am at work I drink more coffee then tea nowadays. I don't drink it black. The coffee here in Holland is strong and then I mean bitter. So I add heaps of coffee creamer and sugar to it until I have a tasteful blend of coffee and sweetness. When I drink it with my eyes closed I imagine drinking a nice vanilla coffee I once had from the McDonald's in America. I still adore it, but we don't have it in Holland. There are more tastes now on the market, but the main ingredient coffee is still the most influential. Maybe I will switch to tea again afterall. I can add a spoon of honey and a splash of milk and make it as sweet as I want it to be. We'll see what tomorrow brings, but now I had a cup of coffee again. How about you?
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said: "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said: "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said: "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
I was at a friends house the other day. He has two cats, just like I have two cats. Everyone who has cats knows that from time to time they need pills against worms or anything else harmful for our favorite furry friends. I already explained to him the best way to make them swallow those pills. But cats are smart, as I think is no surprise. They never really swallow, but only fake it. They let you believe they have their medicine, but when they are safely hidden away under the bed, they spit out the pill, most likely without you noticing. So he tried and failed. After that it was my turn with the dreadful pill. My idea was, and what worked most of the time with my own cats, to put the cat between my legs and crossing my feet, so he couldn't escape that way. I would then put two fingers in his mouth to spread it and being able to slide the pill in. I tried and it worked. he didn't like it, but it was finally in. Victory!. I closed it and stroked his throat to let him swallow it. After sitting like that for minutes, I finally let him go and he jumped under the bed. Till this day we still don't know if he really swallowed the pill. I think he didn't and is still laughing about it. Why aren't those pills also available in kitty-candy flavor or something like that? Would life surely make a lot easier
I need a haircut. Of course my mom thinks the longer the better, but as a good disobeying mommas boy, I disagree. For me it needs to be short, real short, like a tight cut lawn. There was a time, many moons ago, in which I didn't mind longer hair because it was a good excuse to use the blue or yellow stickiness of gel to create my favorite hair creation. Back then the motivations were crystal clear; I needed to score with girls so I needed to look smooth, ultra smooth. Now, as a 36 year old guy with many not-wanted grey hairs, I don't have those feelings anymore or at least not in that quantity. It could be because I don't have a love interest, but it could also be due to the fact that age made me more practical. Now I can sleep 30 minutes longer in the morning as opposed to the gel period. And to be honest, every minute of extra sleep has more favor over looking better. But when the right girl strolls along I am sure I will be back to the gel again Until then.. I need a haircut
Some events stay for the rest of your life. They make a footprint in your heart. The images in the mind maybe fade away, but the feelings never do. I still remember a crush I had when I was in high school. To me she was beautiful. She had long blond hair, but wore it in a punk-like way. It was after all the early 90s. She had the sweetest face and no make-up. Maybe some guys like make-up, but I like natural. Make-up can enhance the best features in a face, but they should never be used to 'make' those features. So I like natural and she was all that. Our high school lasted for 4 years and I had a serious crush on her for all those years. She was one of the cool girls and I wasn't one of the cool guys. Maybe I could be considered being a nerd, but I was for sure the shy quiet guy who had his own little circle of friends and didn't mingle a lot with the cool dudes. So I was also quiet when I had classes with her. My heartbeat stopped the times she looked at me. I never knew if it was because she liked me or just because she had to look somewhere. But at one time we went on school camp. It was a working camp, so we had to work in the gardens of people. It wasn't as fun as I thought it would be, but we also had some games like guessing animal sounds late at night in the forest and watching a movie with the school. There was also a dance. At the time I wasn't really into dancing. I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I was too scared. So I just sat on the side watching my friends dance. And at the moment it happened. The girl I had a crush om asked me to dance and.. I REFUSED. I was shocked that she asked me, so my automatic reaction was to refuse. Till this day I am still ashamed about it. I should have danced with her.
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14 You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment and so I decided life would be more fun if I had a pet. So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, I finally bought a Centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house.
I took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink. So, I asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the Queen's Head Tavern with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer.
This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?" But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet. So, I waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head Tavern and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box:
I heard you the first time! I'm putting my F***ing shoes on."
man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,"What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex.""Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package? " The dad replies,"Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday." "Cool" says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack!
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....etc."
