| Barbecue season |
Jul 1, 2006 12:04 am
982 Views | Barbecue Season Is Coming!
After the long months of cold and winter, we will soon be coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of
cooking a man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... | |
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| Thoughts |
Jun 29, 2006 2:38 am
Mood: happy, 968 Views | Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
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Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
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Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.
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Maybe giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.
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It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
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Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
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There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.
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Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
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May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
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The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
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Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. | |
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| TWO NUNS |
Jun 26, 2006 12:07 am
Mood: amused, 1023 Views | There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL ).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most!
What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster....
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?!
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,
I'll pray for you! | |
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| Blof - a concert |
Jun 25, 2006 6:50 am
Mood: good, 1041 Views |  | We were too early and already the hall was filled with a wide variety of people. Young, old, casual or dress well into perfection. Everyone was welcome at this party. We all came all with the same idea: to enjoy a night together with the Dutch rock group Blof. Rock is maybe not the right word in this context, but they do qualify themselves as being a original Dutch rock group. But I would say Blof is more like a alternative pop group, in the same line as for instance The Counting Crows.
Me and my friend Serge were looking forward to the night ahead and I must say that we weren't disappointed after the last tunes finally left their instruments. It was a great evening with a good atmosphere and fantastic sound. The music hall was originally constructed for perfect music, like chamber music. But even modern rock music has a ball within the walls and it reached my ears in a perfect condition. Before it all started I told Serge all about the great acoustic in Vredenburg and not much later Blof told us, the audience, the same and decided, because of that, to perform a large part of the concert in a acoustic way. No one complained and we all sang the songs together with them from the bottoms of our hearts and of the top of our lungs. It was a great night. I wish you could've been with us.
'Let us dance, my dear
Dancing at the sea
let us dance, my dear
Dancing at the sea
a last dance at the shore
Dancing at the sea
One for your tears
Two for mine
Three for the horizon
on which we disappear' |
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| Marriage |
Jun 23, 2006 2:00 am
Mood: amused, 1075 Views | Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man marries typical
good-looking woman and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and
at what time I want
and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and
card-playing when I want with my old buddies
and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules!
Any comments?"
His new bride says, "No, that's fine with me.
Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night
whether you're here or not."
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Marriage (Part II )
Husband and wife have a bitter quarrel on the
day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
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Marriage (Part III )
Husband (a doctor) and his wife
are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says,
"You're no good in bed either!"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty
and decides to make amends
and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings,
and the irritated husband says,
"What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
She says,
"Getting a second opinion!"
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV )
A man has six children and is very proud
of his achievements. He is so proud of himself,
that he starts calling his wife,
"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go home
and wants to find out
if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice,
"Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack
of discretion, shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
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Marriage (Part V ) The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems
at home and were giving each other the
silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence
(and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said,
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped
for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before
the masterpiece. | |
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2 Comments | |
| Scents |
Jun 22, 2006 6:06 am
1053 Views |  | It is amazing how scents can bring up the past. It's even a stronger sensation then sight.
I just walked around for my lunch break and I smelled some flowers. The scent was carried on by the wind. I like flowers, but I don't go smelling them on purpose. Guys just don't do that  So anyways I caught the smell by accident and I felt a sensation in the pit of my stomach. Hard to describe how it felt, but for me it felt the same as being in love and there was also the feeling of a strong miss. A miss of events, the feeling I don't belong here - here in Holland. If that's so the question remains with thoughts like that, where DO I belong? Hard to figure that out. In my mind every place I've been is suitable and the ones with the strongest emotions sticks out the most. But is that the right place for me? And isn't it better to stick with where I am now and with whatever I am doing?
As said.. a scent can be a powerful thing |
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| Horse |
Jun 21, 2006 12:45 am
1064 Views |  | I am afraid of horses ever since I was hit by one.
I was young and still clueless about the real dangers in life. Not that a horse is a real danger, but I was at a age in which I trusted everyone without second guessing them.
So I saw a horse in a field. I decided to treat it on a lump of sugar. I was taught by my parents that horses like sweets. With the white lump in my little hands I entered the field of horses. I saw all kinds of horses. Some were small, while others were tall. There were black but also white, brown and a varation on the theme. I just picked one. Just a random one. My horse was standing with his butt facing me. This should've been a good hint, but I never saw it coming. I think I was more crying because of the sudden breach in trust then the actual pain.
Later I went to the doctor and luckily he couldn't find anything wrong, but the real damage was already been done: I was afraid of horses. And that never changed. But I still like to look at them, from a safe distance |
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| The weekend |
Jun 19, 2006 3:07 am
990 Views | There has been a heat wave over Holland. I am not sure if it's an official one, since for that to happen you need 3 days of 30 degrees Celsius in a row (or so I guess), but it sure was hot so for me it's official
Friday it was raining though. The sun was hiding behind a thick flock of gray clouds. The world lost it's spark, but luckily they predicted a nice sun again for the weekend and that is how it should be. This gave me and my fellow inhabitants some time again to recuperate.
This weekend I went to a friends house and she prepared a lovely Morrocan Couscous for me and a friend. We just ate and talked. Nothing fancy, but combined with the sun it was something to look forward to.
Sunday was reserved for my Grandma. She celebrated her 82th birthday by throwing a High Tea party. I am not so much into the English culture, but I sure love the tea culture So we had salmon sandwiches, scones with cream, chocolates and ofcourse tea.
So what have you been doing this past weekend? | |
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| How do these people survive? |
Jun 17, 2006 3:07 am
Mood: amused, 1069 Views | ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with
just a few items and the lady behind me put her
things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very
quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they
kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was
none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
paper," the secretary told her. With that, the
intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
and he should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency! | |
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| This makes you think |
Jun 12, 2006 12:35 pm
1023 Views | If the population of the Earth was reduced to that of a small town with
100 people, it would look something like this:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (northern and southern)
8 Africans
52 women
48 men
89 heterosexuals
11 homosexuals
6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be from the United States of America
80 would have bad living conditions
70 would be uneducated
50 underfed
1 would die
2 would be born
1 would have a computer
1 (only one) will have higher education
When you look at the wor ld from this point of view, you can see there is a real need for solidarity, understanding, patience and education.
Also think about the following..
This morning, if you woke up healthy, then you are happier than the 1 million people that will not survive next week.
If you never suffered a war, the loneliness of the jail cell, the agony of torture, or hunger,
you are happier than 500 million people in the world.
If you can enter into a church (mosque) without fear of jail or death, you are happier then 3 million people in the world.
If there is a food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.
If you have bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, who are well-to-do.
If you read this you are three times blessed because:
1. somebody just thought of you.
2. you don't belong to the 200 million people that cannot read.
3. and... you have a computer!
As somebody once said:
"- work as if you don't need money,
- love as if you've never been hurt,
- dance, as if nobody can see you,
- sing, as if no one can hear,
- live, as if the Earth was a heaven." | |
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